Teaser for my new book coming early spring
As I began to open my eyes, I realized that something was wrong. Sweat was dripping from my forehead, and it was burning my eyes. The room felt as hot as an oven, yet I was shivering, and I felt so cold that I was shaking. I didn't know where I was, what day and time it was, or even who I was. The sun was shining through the windows with a painful glare. The walls of the room seemed to be alive, as if they were breathing in and out. The sour taste of infection filled my mouth — its stench in my nose. and it felt as if my soul was seeping out through my pores. I tried to talk, but couldn't, and I lay there in agony for what seemed like an eternity.
Finally I gained a tiny bit of composure. I fought as hard as I could to remember where and who I was. Then a small gift from God maybe: a quick memory. I'm in my room at my parent's house — there on vacation. Oh, no! What do I do? That was all the information I had for now.
I had to do something, so I crawled out of bed and stumbled to the doorway. Everything was out of focus; it was like looking through a window covered in Vaseline. I tried to find help. I slowly walked down the hallway holding onto the wall. I made it to the living room and leaned on a chair. In a daze I tried to hold myself up, but I was losing the battle. Slowly rocking back and forth, I felta sickness and fear I have never experienced before. I was starting to lose consciousness when I heard a voice say, "What's wrong? You look like shit." I turned around and could barely recognize the figure in the room. It was my brother. All I said in a calm voice was, ''Call an ambulance. I think I'm going to die now.” I remember trying to say goodbye, but I couldn't get the words out. Then everything went black.
What happened next is hard to explain. And it's hard to put the events I'm about to tell you about in chronological order, as they seemed to all happen at once — no beginning and no end. They were just happening.
There is no way to explain it; there are no words for it. I didn't open my eyes, yet I could see. I was completely aware, and my location felt familiar, but I didn't recognize it completely. All around me it was black as a night sky with no stars or moon, no wind and no smells. I didn't feel temperature; it wasn't cold or hot, but very comfortable and quite perfect. I didn't have a sense of having a body or see my arms or legs, nor could I feel a gravitational pull. I just felt free. I just was. There was a sound, though. It filled the entire space and it was musical. It wasn't any particular song, just the beautiful sound of voices like I’d never heard.
David Hanzel 2019 from 2015
I believe in a lot of things!
